june 5th.
Playing outside is almost never fun; but somehow our past two extravaganzas have been quite the opposite. I was pleasantly surprised by JIMMIRIG, and the last two nights with THE MERCY MILE were fantastic. Sent us out with a warm feeling. Bubbles were involved in todays show's fun (thanx to travis), as we enjoyed the great turnout for a public park. Doesn't feel like tour yet, as we are only an hour away from home; yet far enough to still miss someone. I hate the fact that i miss this girl, but i do. It's so true, everything you read about tours.
june 6th.
This is getting better. I feel banged up. Matt "the man torso" took us to a rope swing on some body of water (shasta??). it was just nice to have time to fuck around and swim; though Trev and I cut our feet on the rocks (which makes playing a bit hard). Show went fine...again...mediocrity. the vocals are really coming together, i could finally hear everything; and our bodies are adjusting to be able to rock longer. the AMERICAS were amazing.They stop traffic, litterally. Casey came out from the house, in his typical accordion fashion, and a car just stopped and watched. and then clapped when he was done. It's funny Trev, Brandon, and I all talked about missing the girls at "home". we are a bunch of CARABBA's. wack.
june 7th.
Its funny how we woke up relatively early this morning to embark on the longest drive yet (to eugene, or). but we didnt get out of town till almost noon. Damn eating. I drove the whole way today. and most everyone else slept, and missed the BEAUTIFUL land scape. Some girls (who werent even from eugene, actually drove up from roseburg. no one else came. weird) asked us to sign the cd we sold them the minute before. WE ARE ROCK STAR FUCKS. the show went great!!!!!bloody, good fun! a band from OKLAHOMA(SHACKLES AWAIT). nothing new, but probably a revolutionary act in their home town.

june 8th.
We (actually trevor) opted to drive all night to seattle instead of staying at the LE SOU SOL house (shell was nice enough to offer).Which was nice, waking up in seattle, though i missed the night scape of portland. which is the my fondest and earliest memory of that beloved city. Its rainy here, go figure. so im screwed as i packed only summer clothes. A decision was made to go to a guitar shop...EMERALD CITY MUSIC. which was a pleasant surprise, because the workers there were fantastic about out-of-town bands. Even bought a CD which was nice, and always welcomed. We then set out for WOODINVILLE, and the excitement set in. This was the most anticipated show of the whole tour, for me at least. Finally getting to see MARCH 15th, and seeing AKIMBO, VATS OF BLOOD, and NIHILIST rock it again. Its going to FUCKING RULE! it will equally be nice to be in the company of friends (sometimes on this van i feel as if i dont have any), and have the leisure of staying at a house again, as well as having a short drive the next day. The re-occuring image of AUBREY still resonates and a yearn to be near her aches in every porous bone. I was thinking i will buy her something, to act as a keepsake for me to remember her now, and also to show her how much she means to me (cliche i know/ whatever that means) XXOO!hahaha Trevor is a GIMP. he got stuck in the loft (and its giving him a SEMI.)
---------LATER ON------------
the excitement and anticipation of the show was well worth it. VATS OF BLOOD, NIHILIST, and especially AKIMBO were absolutely AMAZING!!! AKIMBO were swell guys again, giving us 7 inch's and buying a cd! and to see MARCH 15th finally play. oh man. i had been listening to that cd, and was blown away from the live show! Keith was an amazing fellow again, and let us stay at his house. Its good to be in the company of friends, as ive said before, sometimes it feels as if i dont have any.
june 9th.
Woke up today to WARMTH!!!!!!i feel better today. sometimes i get way down, and feel unappreciated. But i LOVE THIS (hella/emo/gay/contradicting/). being in bands, meeting bands, being around all these amazing people. It makes all my worries and insecurities seem petty. I am excited about today;lots of fun, and good things on the horizon. super stellar stoked that DROWNING IN LETHE are playing tonight. I just hope i can get over my hatred of people.

epilogue/epitaph


well i guess i didnt get over anything. in portland i quit the band. im sorry. i didnt know what else to do. i felt like shit. it was my mistake. if youre in a band, or in any kind of relationship. fucking talk to each other....communicate. its the only way youll all be on the same page. (again stating the obvious). i totally wish i hadn't done that. we could have done something i think. but everything happens for a reason. as trevors other bands numberonegun, and THE NORTH MAGNETIC are set to do things. and the AUTUMN ERA for curtis has things going. to brandon, i am the most apologetic to you. he kinda got sucked in this whirlwind. i loved playing the songs with every one of you guys. but sometimes things outside of that get in the way. and i fucked anyone over, it was me. i put countless hours into that tour. this is my life.


TOUR QUOTES:
"I feel like i was humping the loft"-trevor
"The beef jerkey just hit me in the face"-curtis
"To our left is majestic SUKK-A-DICKAA, OREGON"-travis
"I gotta go pee! and the loft is giving me a SEMI( as in hard-on)"-trevor
"NUGLETTUCE"-travis
"Dont wipe back to front"-trevor
"I wouldnt marry my step-sister, shes a big ASS HO"-andre (NIHILIST)
"Itll be like..........but there'll be two of 'em"-curtis